American Paranoia

Todos sabemos que yankilandia é un país perigoso porque así o indican as novas que cruzan o océano. Pero a cousa unha vez aquí dentro ten uns tintes dramáticos para os non iniciados nesta versión adulterada do pensamento protestante.

A área do campus e de Little Italy esta inzada de policías: podo velos pasando nos seus enormes crownies (aínda que se están a pasar os cehvy impala), indo a comer comida italiana no Pompei (onde tamén vou eu) ou parando de madrugada no White Hen a mercar café quente e donuts (sen tópicos). Algún día escribirei un post sobre o portátil antibalas que levan dentro dos carros, por certo.

Vaia, entre os polis "normais" de cando en cando tamén vexo á UIC Police. A primeira vez pensei que o de police era unha esaxeración e que serían como os pro-seguratas que ten a USC nun TT amarelo perseguindo independentistas redecoradores de facultades. Isto é: señor de uniforme con palo.

Erró!

Non tardei moito en ver a estes robocops parar un SUV no campus con toda sorte de luces (aquí os carros de policía fan deslucir ao tunner máis empastillao) e saír con: chaleque antibalas, pistola automática e cara de mala ostia. Si, e uniforme e palo tamén, pero creo que non lles mola usalo.

Pero o tema non vai do garrulos que son os polis, o tema é o paranoico que o poñen a un porque semana si semana tamén mándame ao correo-e lindezas coma estas:
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Monday at around 10 p.m., a UIC student was the victim of an off-campus armed robbery in the 1000 block of South Ashland Avenue. The victim was approached by two black males, one of whom displayed a knife and took the victim's cell phone.

The assailant with the knife was described as 5-foot-8, 140 pounds, late teens to early 20s, with dark eyes and dark complexion, wearing a green baseball cap and green tee shirt. The second offender was described as 6-foot, 130 pounds, late teens to early 20s, with dark eyes and dark complexion, wearing a white tee shirt, black shorts, and a white "do-rag" on his head.

UIC Police strongly recommend complying with an armed offender's demand for property or valuables, as the victim did in this case.

Other security tips:

--be aware of your surroundings
--try to travel in groups when possible, particularly after dark
--use well-lit walkways
--on campus, look for the location of the nearest emergency call box (there are more than 900 across campus)
--the emergency number for UIC Police is 996-HELP (4357).

The crime will be investigated by the UICPD/CPD Joint Robbery Task Force and CPD Area Four Detectives.

Anyone with information is asked to call UIC Police at (312) 996-2830.

MESSAGE FROM THE UIC POLICE

Tuesday just before noon, a UIC student was the victim of an armed robbery on the CTA Blue Line platform at the UIC-Halsted stop near campus. A single offender approached from the rear and placed a knife in the student's back. The student surrendered a cell phone and iPod, and the offender fled the scene.

The offender is described as a black male, age 30-35, 5-foot-8, 190 pounds, of muscular build, bald, with a medium complexion and a goatee.

UIC Police strongly recommend complying with an armed offender's demand for property or valuables, as the victim did in this case.

Other security tips:

--be aware of your surroundings
--try to travel in groups when possible, particularly after dark
--use well-lit walkways
--on campus, look for the location of the nearest emergency call box (there are more than 900 across campus)
--the emergency number for UIC Police is 996-HELP (4357).

The crime will be investigated by the UICPD/CPD Joint Robbery Task Force and CPD Area Four Detectives.

Anyone with information is asked to call UIC Police at (312) 996-2830.

A MESSAGE FROM UIC POLICE

UIC students were the victims of two recent purse snatchings in areas adjacent to campus.

On July 31 just after 4 p.m., a student's purse was snatched from behind by a male offender riding a bicycle in the 1000 block of West Vernon Park. The student was not injured.

On August 2 at around 5:30 p.m., another student's purse was grabbed in the 900 block of South Morgan. The subject was described as a black male, 20-30 years old, 5-foot-8, of slender build, and riding a mountain bike. He was not able to keep hold of the purse and was frightened off by witnesses, but the student sustained a minor injury to the shoulder.

These incidents are being investigated by the UIC Police/Chicago Police Department Joint Robbery Task Force and CPD Area 4 Detectives.
Anyone with information is asked to call Area 4 at (312) 746-8253 or the UIC Police at (312) 996-2830.

UIC Police offer the following suggestions:

--be aware of your surroundings
--try to travel in groups
--use well-lit walkways
--on campus, look for the location of the nearest emergency call box (there are more than 1,000 across campus)
--the emergency number for UIC Police is 996-HELP (4357).
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Interesante, eh? A min alégranme a mañá sempre que os vexo, pero o meu moi máis favorito é este:

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MESSAGE FROM THE UIC POLICE

Tuesday, around 4:50 p.m., a UIC employee was the victim of a robbery and abduction in the 700 block of south Wood Street.

The victim reported that a female black offender approached her from the rear, placed a knife to her back, and forced her into a white vehicle of unknown make and model. A second female black offender was driving.

The first offender took the victim's wallet and removed currency. The offenders proceeded to drive the victim to an ATM, where they demanded that she withdraw more money. The offenders then drove the victim back to Harrison and Wolcott, where they forced her out of the car and fled the scene.

Anyone with information is asked to call Chicago Police Area 4 detectives at (312) 746-8253 or the UIC Police at (312) 996-2830. UIC Police will be involved with CPD in the investigation through the Joint Robbery Task Force.

*** UIC Police strongly recommend complying with an armed offender's demand for property or valuables, but resisting a demand to enter a vehicle if possible.

Other tips:
--be aware of your surroundings
--try to travel in groups
--use well-lit walkways
--on campus, look for the location of the nearest emergency call box (there are more than 1,000 across campus)
--the emergency number for UIC Police is 996-HELP (4357).
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Isto é: que lles dea a pasta e me resista ao secuestro, o que non entendo aínda é: se o tipo vai armado, como carallo me vou resistir ao secuestro!? Joé, para iso tamén me resisto a que me rouben!

En fin, non todo é un paraíso como vedes.

Saudiñas.

PS1 Si, os malos que rouban aos estudantes son negros, por suposto...

PS2 A foto do Crown Victoria é de CrazyPete
e a do Impala dun fulano ao que lle mola o copyright :P